"In the morning/The greatness of/The mind and/The goodness of/The heart are/Inseparable...Each morning/Is the birth/Of a new/Opportunity...In morning’s/Silence-delight,/The Supreme/Himself visits my/Heart-abode." (Sri Chimnoy)
It has been during my lazy mornings of waking around 7, but actually getting out of bed somewhere between 8 and 9am that I like to just lie under my blankets for a bit and look up toward the ceiling and its fan and around my room, planning my day or coming up with *fantastic* ideas, such as , conjuring up half-baked platforms for reality shows that wouldn't in a million years make it to a tv screen near you, or adventures I'd like to take if time and money were no object. In an effort to preserve what may actually be brilliant musings for future reflection, I am making a concerted effort to record them here on my blog...
Why... isn't there a show called "Real Housewives of Stearns County"? Come on, America- aren't you tired of overly tanned, botoxed, boozed, bleached, exercised, moneyed, shallow, fickle, gossipy, plasticized, shopped out women first featured on "Real Housewives of Orange County"? How can "Real Housewives of [Wherever]" possibly be an accurate depiction of what it means to be a real housewife not just in this country, but anywhere in the world? I'd like to see Bravo pick up a season of "Real Housewives of Stearns County" (or Pope, Douglas, Ottertail County- all of Minnesota... or any other rural place in the US). I can just see the ratings skyrocket as we witness such things as arguments between women over whether Coborns or Byerly's has the freshest produce available... Friendships will be torn apart as Housewife A accuses Housewife B of helping her 7th grade son with his History Day project, helping him to earn 2nd place at regionals (ousting her daughter) and advancing to state-level competition. Housewife C has her own set of problems, as her husband's construction business is floundering in the poor economy, and so she'll no longer be able to afford private Catholic school for her 4 children. The thought of public school for her offspring sickens her and is often the subject of conversation at the potluck dinners that the housewives gather for each week. Housewife D isn't even a housewife at all- or even somebody's wife-- she is a a full time nurse at the St. Cloud Hospital, caring for patients in the surgical unit. She and her boyfriend get into arguments regarding his 4-wheeling, snowmobiling and fishing habits... why can't he spend more time with her taking shopping trips to the Albertville Outlets instead? Housewife E is a hot mess in terms of what Stearns County is accustomed to. Housewife E's husband is recently deployed and while his stipend from the military could easily cover their household's expenses, she decides that caring for their 2 small children is just too much to handle. She hands them off to daycare each morning so she can go do something more relaxing, like work at Herberger's as a sales associate, all the while carrying on an affair with the store's assistant manager. She lives... in a trailer park.
Like it or not- these are the faces of real Stearns County Housewives.
Snippets of other ideas/great thoughts (that don't necessarily come to fruition- and my bank account thanks God they haven't) I've had whilst lying in bed early in the morning:
I could totally hide a cat from my landlord. Clara, I will come to rescue you soon from my mother.
Today would be a good day to finish those paintings for Susan and Jared.
What if I refinished my dining table and chairs and painted them with white crackle paint?
Paying the T-Mobile early cancellation fee would totally be worth getting the iPhone 4.
Hair extensions would be nice; I wouldn't have to wait at least a year to get it to the length I want it to be.
I should buy a tent.
I want to dig a bonfire pit.
Maybe I want to add window boxes to the house I'm renting and plant precious flowers in them.
A sewing class might be useful to me in the future.
Knitting would be a good hobby to take up.
I should try to make a new straight man friend per week. Eventually, one of them is bound to want to date me and maybe even put a ring on it?
