you've missed me, haven't you?

Wow. It's been quite a while since I posted. For those of you who dutifully awaited my each and every blog with bated breath, I profusely apologize. Much  has occurred in the almost 2 years since August 2011. I'll attempt to be brief (not my strong suit, as demonstrated by my earlier writings).

Disclaimer: if we speak regularly at all, you likely already know much/all of this.

• In August of 2011, I accepted a job teaching 1st-12th grade general and vocal music in a small town in Minnesota. It did not go well. I was very stressed. An 8th grade girl told me I was going to get shot because I confiscated her cell phone. Later, her friends told me that this same student often lamented that I was stupid and fat.This type of student-on-teacher bullying was not all an uncommon occurrence at the school district. Something happens to many kids when they get into 5th grade.  They go through their awkward/horrible person phase. Needless to say, with my stress levels increased (even beyond that of working in liturgy), my cortisol levels did as well. If you don't know what cortisol does in your body, I'll tell you. It makes you fat. I got kind of fat again. It's difficult to take care of oneself when you struggle just to stay above water in terms of your work. Thanks for the extra load on my heart, B. Area School District. 
• While I worked in B, I lived in Pine City, Minnesota, with my dear darling friend BM. He's a great friend to have (loyal, funny, intelligent, etc.), but a terrible influence on my drinking behavior. My liver hadn't worked as hard as it did in the 2011-2012 academic year since the most salacious semester I spent at St. Cloud State (Spring '08). That's saying something. Honestly, I can't totally blame BM for my temporary alcoholism, as it was due in large-part to self-medicating.
• Summer 2012 brought job and residence changes. I moved home to Glenwood with my mom and one of my sisters (7 years my junior) for the first time since 2004 (the summer between sophomore/junior year at Carthage). I'm not proud of the amount of time I spent playing Temple Run on my phone, mostly in an attempt to beat my 16 year old brother's high score. Nor am I proud of the fact that most mornings, I didn't get up until 9am or so, and waited until 12noon or later to put on pants. I'm not proud that I spent more time watching entire seasons of Gossip Girl on Netflix, rather than reading books. There was also that one time I went to A&W without having showered for a couple of days and wearing my brother's NASCAR t-shirt with the sleeves cut off.  I'm definitely not proud of that. It's a good thing I didn't run into anyone I know. Even my sister K was embarrassed. I'm sure my mother would still express her disgust at the memory of such days.* As such, I will be seeking employment this summer (2013), so as to avoid a repeat of the self-loathing/stupid-ifying summer of 2012. Also, my dad got remarried. His new wife is closer to my age than his. I'm still in the adjustment period, and probably will be for the next 20 years.
• I was offered a couple of elementary music teaching positions over the summer (PHEW! No more 8th graders! And don't even get me started on high schoolers!), and I ultimately accepted a K-4 music job in Perham, Minnesota. It was one of the better choices I've made in my "adult" life.
• Summer/fall 2012 also brought the more official launch of E.T.G. photos, my serious hobby/business adventure. I'm really enjoying taking pictures of babies and kids and families and documenting weddings. Preggo? Engaged? Hire me?
• I recorded an album of Christmas music with an extraordinarily talented friend and musician. We donated/will continue to donate proceeds to this amazing organization. Buy one (a CD, that is). 
• Since moving to the Perham, Minnesota area, I've been re-learning how to live in rural lake country. The closest Target store is 45 minutes away. It's always 10 degrees cooler here than in Minneapolis. Minneapolis... is 3.5 hours away. It might as well be in Canada for as often as I'm able to get there. Speaking of Canada- Canada is just 4-5 hours away from here. Dating here is difficult, even when trying to fish in the online dating pool, where you can easily filter out some of the less stellar choices. Most  All single men here are more than likely younger than me and are sons of coworkers or sons of friends of coworkers. They work for their dads and went to NDSU or Moorhead State. I'm not saying it's bad- but it's different. It's very, very different. For amusing anecdotes and horror stories, stay tuned into future blog posts.
• It's sounding as though I'll be in Perham again for another school year. That's a good thing. I like it here. The students, staff, work environment, and community are all consistently pleasant. The level of cortisol flowing through my bloodstream is at a much more healthy level than during my time at BAHS. Thanks for aiding in my 30+ pound weight loss, Perham-Dent School District. You are literally saving my life. Cheers!

*One afternoon, my mom "dropped trou" in the living room and exclaimed, "Look! I'm Erin!" just to put me in my place.

work in progress

Recently, I blogged about the inevitable passage of time (see "thirty"), and with that passage of time, the event of my thirtieth birthday, now coming up in 2 years, 9 months and some odd days. There is a lot of pressure from society on my generation to be settled by a certain age. I'm not sure exactly what "settled" means, but I suspect it involves owning property, being espoused to someone, working at a fast-paced/high paying/glamorous job, and possibly taking care of offspring. I have accomplished not a single one of those things, but lately (especially after having read an often hilarious book comprised of essays from various female authors in their 30s and beyond- which I highly recommend to all women age 20+), I find myself just fine with many aspects of my current situation. Additionally, I am very happy to report that I have accomplished or nearly accomplished more than a few items on my "thirty things before I'm thirty" list.

*pat myself on the back*

#4- Visit friends in far-off places:  (sort of) CHECK! I recently spent a week in Chicago/Kenosha/Milwaukee, making up for lost time. This fall, I hope/plan to take flight, landing in Arizona, where my dear old friend BS (yes, those are her actual initials) is set to give birth to Baby S #1. I'm astonished at my reproducing friends. I admire their courage. I applaud their efforts. Mostly, I'm happy to buy cute baby outfits for them, but not be the person responsible for changing poopy diapers. For now, I'm content to be Auntie Erin- The One Who Sings and Likes Cats and Wears Lots of Makeup and Knows All Those Famous Gay Men.

#6- Live by myself: (almost) CHECK! I am applying to live in a darling 1 bedroom sitting practically atop a lake and adorable neighborhood.  It's perfect (for me); it has lots of light/windows, tall ceilings, a patio, a gas stovetop, abundant character, allows pets, overlooks a charming lake in the downtown area, and the heat/water/sewer/garbage is included... I am having visions of many nights curled up under a quilt with my furry feline friend, sipping red wine, reading, blogging, making crafts with buttons, DIY repurposing projects, dabbling in photo editing, talking to myself, going bra-less, drinking 2 day old coffee without fear of being judged (waste not, want not), going to the bathroom with the door open, walking around without pants on, and so much more.

#8- Lose thirty pounds: (half) CHECK! Thanks to an online calorie tracker/weight loss community, I am just 1 lb shy of half of that goal of thirty pounds. What's more exciting is that I plan to lose those thirty pounds and then some. I am thrilled with the results so far and hope to continue the transformation. Most surprising about this process is that I've actually enjoyed exercising. Those who have known me for some time may not believe me, but it's true. I, Erin Teresa Gaffaney, like going to the gym. Admittedly, I owe much of my progress to closed captioning on the individual tvs mounted on each elliptical (equipped with cable channels), Jimmy Fallon's late late night show, E! News, Chelsea Handler's show, headphones, and the soundtrack to Step Up! 3 and any/all albums by Robin Thicke and Beyonce. Please don't judge me. I like to blame (in part) technology on the rising rates of obesity in these United States, but in my case, it's helped to combat it. Also, it should not go unmentioned that there is the occasional Hottie McHottie working out at the Anytime Fitness I frequent, which serves as fantastic eye candy/motivation. What? I'm only human.

#14- Keep a plant alive for a remarkable length of time: CHECK (times 2)!! I have a violet that was given to me in December that is not only still alive, but growing. Five months kept alive- very remarkable indeed. I also have an oxalis that is living in my office, having been kept alive since it was given to me in early March. It is not only alive, but thriving. Also remarkable is that I had the forethought to ask the secretary at work to water my plants during my week-long absence in order that they might not wither and perish. Wow. I've really outdone myself on this one. I think I may take things a step further and plant a few flowers. Perhaps I'll even transfer the oxalis from its current tiny plastic pot to something bigger and fancier- something in which it might grow bigger and taller yet. How exciting.

#26- Send more birthday cards to family and friends: CHECK! If I may boast, I've been stellar at this in the last few months. Just ask my family and friends. However, I did miss Grandma G's b-day, so I'll have to make up for that by sending a homemade card. I am not good at scrapbooking, so this may or may not be something I made with crayons.

#29- Take a community ed pottery class: (sort of) CHECK! While mosaic-making isn't exactly pottery, it's still functional art. Thanks, Groupon and Mercury Mosaics. I did look into the local community ed catalog for a pottery offering, but the consecutive classes on Saturday afternoons during June and July conflict with my schedule of singing at weddings, working, and taking advantage of mosquito season.



Wow. 6/30. That's not bad, considering it's been less than 3 months since I made my list. I suppose I might be kind of a big deal sooner than later if I accomplish the other 24 items before 2/28/14.

lockout

I knew the day started out simply too good to be true.

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, the air smells like spring, and the temperature is predicted to reach nearly 60.

Today is my Friday; I have no rehearsals tonight and am planning to drive out of town to visit friends, maybe commit gluttony at a fish fry, and to return Saturday morning. I shaved my legs. I lotioned. My hair looks fabulous. I weighed in at the gym last night and am down 5 lbs from my weight a week ago.  I'm wearing a simple dress and new $6 earrings from Target. I have a travel mug full of deliciously hot and deliciously strong black coffee. Things are/were looking up.

Things were/are looking up, that is, until I locked my keys in my car. Fumbling with a paper bag carrying today's lunch in it as well as my purse, I locked my car doors while still groping for items in my backseat. I put my car keys in my purse, grabbed my lunch bag and slammed the door shut, only to realize within a split second that I'd done it again. I'd locked my keys in my car. My keys were safe in my purse, and my purse was safe in my backseat.

a 'dramatic reenactment'

The custodian here at work has no such device with which to break into a vehicle. I asked. 

The last time I locked my keys in my car was in rural Pine City on an otherwise beautiful, summery, sunny Saturday (and, coincidentally, the day of my very good friend's wedding) just 8 months ago. I was charged nearly $100 for someone to come open it. And that was after I talked the locksmith down from $125. What the what?

As I feel very resolute that this type of service should come at only a minimal cost,  I immediately got to work doing online research. Thanks, www.dexknows.com. For you St. Cloud/Waite Park/Sauk Rapids/Sartell/St. Joseph residents, the following information should come in handy in case you ever need a locksmith or a tow in the future. I compiled a very nice (thorough) list of businesses offering lockout assistance and the amount they charge.

Now I simply need to find out how much it would cost to get a duplicate set of keys made (the set I'm using is my spare- I lost the original- and the auto start with it- somewhere in a snowdrift during a blizzard in '06). At least it's what my insurance provider advised me to do, anyway.

Lord, help me.

Enjoy (?).

Orange Cab  (320)252-8080   $25

Lockout Services  (320)249-2890  $35

Security Locksmiths Inc.  (320)253-4862  $60 (YIKES- no thank you!)

Collins Bros Towing  (320)257-5525  $30 (and they take personal checks- and they have a location in Elk River- and my brother's name is Collin, so I see this as a good sign)

All Care Towing  (320)253-5203  $35

Andy's Towing  (320)251-5691  $35

Anchor Towing  (320)259-4199  $35

Perhaps, as a thank you to me for this useful information, you could click on some ads all over my blog so I can pay for these little incidents (that seem only to happen to me with great frequency). 

silver lining

In the last year or so, I have managed to gain a somewhat substantial amount of weight. This is due in part to a variety of factors, including, but not limited to the following: my own negligence (going to the gym is not something I look forward to by any means), my slowing metabolism, genetics, a work schedule that does not lend itself well to meals prepared by myself and eaten at regular intervals, a penchant for mochas (I've learned to order them with skim milk recently, and honestly, I enjoy them more that way) and a nearby Qdoba and White Castle. I can't help it. I love food. In part, I blame both sides of my extended family. Holidays were just as much about gluttony as they were spending time with each other. Who am I kidding? I loved it, and I still do. Thanksgiving is not Thanksgiving without Grandma Agnes' mashed potatoes and my aunt Cindy's vegetable pizza (as an "appetizer"), and Christmas isn't the same without Grammie's homemade caramels, my aunt Dorothy's brandy slush, and a host of savory dishes. We Gaffaneys and Grundmans really know how to put it away. To this day, I associate feelings of being overly full with family gatherings. It's just... what we do.

Every day I plan to go to the gym. I have my bag of gym attire in my car should I feel a strong urge to swing by there before work, after work, or on the way home from any other plethora of engagement or errand. I have been planning to go since January. My bag is still untouched.

I lie. The bag has not gone untouched. I had arbitrarily thrown some nail polish and a book I had been reading into it, thinking that I'd read whilst on the elliptical machine to trick myself into thinking that time was passing more quickly than it actually was, and after about a week of being unable to locate said book, remembered that it was in the bag. I went out to my car to get it. If I had time to read, I had time to go to the gym...

The best laid schemes of mice and men go oft awry. (Thanks, John Steinbeck, you really hit the nail on the head with that statement.)

There is, however, a bright side to this.

My hair is the best it has ever looked. In my life. No, seriously. It is. The color could use some work (this is also due to my own negligence), but the cut is superb. My stylist, a young woman who I happen to have known since elementary school, has set up shop with her mom in my tiny hometown. K has managed to cut my hair in such a way that I am able to style it up, down, straight, curly, sophisticated, artsy, and everything in between. So, you see, there is a silver lining to every sad story.


Now, be a friend and click on the ad(s) on my blog, so I can continue to afford going to see K, and thereby continue having several great hair days per week. Unprecedented, to say the least.