With my 27th birthday looming just less than a week away, I find myself having miniature, short-lived existential crises as of late. 27. Just 3 years away from 30. Mid-late-20s. Late 20s. Oh, oh, goodness. Late 20s? Seriously? My mom had already birthed me at this age, and was probably already planning child #2 (who came in the form of my lovely, always entertaining sister Ashley Ann when my mom was 28). No, no thank you. Because of my work schedule, I need a second dog-sitter to dog-sit the dogs I'm dog-sitting. I haven't the slightest clue as to how I could work my own progeny into the mix.
Of course, I sometimes experience the 20something single girl blues. You know which ones I'm talking about- the...
"woe is me, I have no boyfriend" or
"if I don't start having children soon, I'm going to be an old mom" or
"why can't I attract straight men like I attract gay men?" or
"if that mean girl can get a boyfriend, so can I" or
"only my cat truly understands me"
...thoughts that tend to creep in after a long, solitary Friday night of binging on red wine, pizza, chocolate, and rom-coms starring Sandra Bullock on Netflix's instant watch feature that you're too embarrassed to admit made you shed a tear or two.
"They" say that 30 is the new 20. If this modern adage turns out to be accurate, then I shouldn't be worrying so much about being "behind" my peers.
Nonetheless, I feel more compelled than ever to just do the things I've been putting off for one reason or another. Whenever I feel anxious or troubled about the future or a big project at work or school, or am just having difficulty articulating myself, I like to make lists. This situation is no different.
Thirty Things Before I'm Thirty
(if I really mean to attain completion of this list, I need to work at a rate of ten items per year- doable?)
1. Spend more time with my remaining grandparents- make audio recordings of our conversations about their youth.
2. Sponsor a child through a mission organization.
3. Go to London for the Proms classical music festival, held yearly from mid-summer to early fall (this might have to wait for my "Forty Things Before Forty" list, as trans-oceanic flights are not cheap and I work for a church).
4. Visit my friends in far-off places (Arizona, Atlanta, Boston and South Carolina, specifically speaking)
5. Scan and electronically preserve all photos taken in my immediate family before the miracle known as digital photography was invented and made accessible to the general public.
6. Live by myself.
7. Learn to knit.
8. Lose thirty pounds.
9. Chaperone a prom.
10. Establish a photography business.
11. Pay off thirty percent of my student loans (have you noticed a theme yet?).
12. Sing in a band. A soul/funk/folk/bluegrass/rock/jazz/gospel/hip-hop inspired band. Jam. Gig it up in bars and outdoor festivals. Record an album.
13. Make my first entry into... Canada.
14. Keep a plant alive for a remarkable length of time (remarkable for me would be two months, and bulbs don't count).
15. Start composting.
17. Buy myself a "right hand ring"
18. Meet Tina Fey.
19. Organize a family vacation with my dad, Pat.
20. Go on a hermitage retreat.
21. See Beyonce in concert.
22. Go through the entirety of my (current storage) 2034 MB-sized gmail account. Delete unnecessary archived items.
23. Convince a straight man to love and be devoted to me in the same way some of my dear darling gay man friends do.
24. Be more fully healed of the anguish caused by my parents' divorce.
25. Spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with family, rather than at church.
26. Send more birthday cards to friends and family. For an entire calendar year, do not miss one birthday of those most important to me. Mail cards to the intended recipients on or before their birthday. Tape $1 bills into the card.
27. Go blonde for the summer.
28. Make a pie. From scratch.
29. Take a community ed pottery class.
30. Publish a humorous memoir.
Whew. I better get started.
